A manifesto for a carefree life
words + photo
nelisa ngqulana
A collection of photographs and thoughts about learning to care less and live more.
1.
That's my line.
The vagina is not synonymous with hard labour.
Somewhere along the way, women were sold a story that suffering is noble. That exhaustion is virtue. That sacrifice is proof of love. That carrying everything is simply what we do.
I reject that.
I refuse to wear burnout as a badge of honour.
I refuse to spend my life proving my worth through struggle.
I did not come into this world to be permanently tired.
2.
Death is always around the corner.
It is inevitable.
So there is no need to bother about it.
Or let it interfere with living.
Death will come whether I spend my days worrying about it or not.
The only thing worry steals is the life happening right now.
Life is for the living.
Not for rehearsing endings.
3.
I used to have a roadmap for regrets.
I'd imagine every possible future disappointment.
What if I don't attend this person's funeral?
Will I regret it?
Can that moment be recreated?
How much would it cost to retrace those steps?
Could I forgive myself?
I exhausted myself trying to avoid future regret.
Then one day I realised I was sacrificing present joy to imaginary grief.
The future is not a debt collector.
It does not need to be paid in advance.
4.
Yes, we live in dysfunction.
Families.
Relationships.
Countries.
Communities.
Workplaces.
Human beings are messy.
But the question that matters is this:
Do we choose it?
If we choose it, then we own it.
We stop blaming.
We stop pretending.
We stop performing victimhood.
We own what is ours until we can change it.
That ownership is freedom.
5.
What happens when we die?
Do we all end up in the same place?
Do our fears matter?
Do our titles survive?
Do our carefully constructed identities remain intact?
I don't know.
Nobody really knows.
And perhaps that uncertainty is an invitation rather than a problem.
Maybe the point isn't knowing.
Maybe the point is living.
6.
At the end of the day, I'm just a girl who wants to be.
No complicated explanations.
No performance.
No strategic positioning.
No endless justification.
No need to become whatever other people imagine I should be.
I want to exist without auditioning for acceptance.
I want to be ordinary.
Extraordinary.
Messy.
Brilliant.
Wrong.
Growing.
Changing.
Human.
I want to be.
And that is enough.
7.
Not about every opinion.
Not about every expectation.
Not about every unwritten rule.
Not about every imaginary audience watching your life.
Give a damn about what matters.
Love.
Friendship.
Beauty.
Joy.
Good food.
Meaningful work.
A photograph that captures something true.
A conversation that changes you.
A quiet afternoon.
A life that feels like your own.
Everything else can wait.
I used to write poetry. Until life sobered me.
I walk around the house naked.
There is so much good music.
Is there even enough sun to go around it?
Staring at the moon hoping to see this magic every one talks about.
I just see a burnt out sun tired of the day.
Sitting under an umbrella catching raindrops.
While the clocks ticks by like it forgot my name. Will time ever come back for me?
Sometimes when the night is too dark and the heart is heavy, I say a prayer. Just in case there's a God.
It always starts with a screen, doesn't it???
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